At the very end of The Last Battle, the final book (no matter what order you read them in) of The Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis writes: “All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story … in which each chapter is better than the one before.”
It’s now been one week since my confirmation and I’m still trying to hold onto everything that I felt that day, the love of friends and family, the love of new family, the awakening to God’s presence and hand in my life since I was born, the joy—the utter joy—and sense of purpose, the clarity that comes when we know without a doubt what God has in store for us.
So what comes next?
I sort of expected that the day after confirmation would feel like the day after Christmas after all the build-up and anticipation is gone. The gifts have all been opened, we’ve had our fill of Christmas dinner and the carols have all been played.
The day after Christmas was always a letdown for me when I was a kid and I was worried I would feel the same after confirmation.
I have been pleasantly surprised to not feel that way at all. There is no letdown … because the story isn’t over. It has only just begun.
All my life, I have been lingering on the title page of my story.
Now God has turned the page for me to Chapter One.
But what is that story? What will happen next?
A friend gave me a confirmation card this past week that quoted 2 Corinthians 5:7 which says, “For we walk by faith … not by sight.”
And oh what a difficult thing that is … especially for someone like me who likes to skip ahead and read the last pages of the book to see if the story is worth reading at all. And now, here I am, unable to see more than a few pages ahead, sometimes not more than a few words and having to trust in God and His plan that each chapter will be better than the last.
I can do that—I think—trust—because God has opened my eyes over the past five months. He has changed me in ways I could never have imagined, in ways I could never have asked for because I didn’t know that such a me could exist.
I didn’t know … and that is the beauty of God’s work … to shape us in ways unimaginable.
He is changing me still, one minute, one day, one month … one page of my story at a time.
I told Pastor Debbie that I was still spiritually hungry and I think that comes from a continued longing to be filled with God’s love, a continued longing to be changed, a continued longing to see more of the story God has written for me.
