Today I began filling out the application for Asbury Theological Seminary. It is something that, honestly, I’ve been postponing for a few weeks now, not because I doubt Asbury is the place for me, but because I can’t yet see how it’s all going to come together. Where is the money going to come from? Where is the time?
And because I can’t see how those things will work, I guess I’ve been too afraid to even try.
I’m only human and trusting God, giving things over to Him completely—taking myself out of it—it’s something new to me. The only I can do is keep moving forward toward the goal I know He has planned for me even if I can’t see how He’s going to get me there.
A few months ago I wrote about God speaking through the wrappers on Dove Chocolate Bars. God does speak. He speaks through our heart, through our gut. Sometimes He whispers to us at night right before we fall asleep when our defenses are down and we are like children again, ready to listen.
And sometimes when we are just too darn stubborn, God will find a way to make Himself heard, whether it be Dove Chocolate Bars, talking donkeys, or even Oprah.
Oprah celebrated her last show yesterday. I haven’t watched Oprah in a long time. I occasionally tune in when I know she’s giving away gifts, so I was surprised—pleasantly—that she chose her last show to give away something more important than any material good.
She gave away her own hard-earned, life-affirmed wisdom.
And this morning, when I was arguing with God about getting started on that application, the news played a sound bite from Oprah’s last show.
Here’s what she said: “Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it … you … have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world.”
I admit that I’m sort of ashamed that God has to resort to chocolate bars and Oprah to get through to me, but when I heard what she said this morning, I knew that despite my doubts about how it will all work out, I have no doubt about what it is God has called me to do.
How lucky am I? How blessed to know right now and while I’m still relatively young, what it is that I am called to do? How wonderful it is to know that this call to the priesthood sparks the light in me, sets a fire in my soul. How blessed am I that all the struggles in my life haven’t dampened that flame, but have only kindled it.
That is how God works, right?
That a true calling always burns bright even in the darkest of night, even in our saddest hour.
And that the worst thing is to ignore that light, ignore the spark, because when we do, we turn our back on the greatest gift God will give us … purpose … a reason for being.
Once we embrace that purpose, once we set out on the path God has created for us … once we do that, well it’s like suddenly having wind at our sails when we had been set adrift in becalmed seas.
We don’t always know how we’re going to get there.
But we have to trust God to take us there.
