I know I’ve told this story before, but bear with me one more time.
On January 1, 2010, I sat in the parking lot of Barnes and Noble and said a prayer to God. I had been thinking about the last decade of my life, how I had nothing to complain about, but also nothing “to write home about” either. I wondered if the next ten years of my life would be any different.
And I prayed to God they would be.
When I think back on this past year, I will always see 2010 as my crossroads year, the year when God presented me again and again with different choices and for the first time in my life I let Him lead me in the direction He wanted me to go.
In February of this year, a friend spoke about attending a wedding at an Episcopal church and I thought how I had always wanted to try an Episcopal church. And as soon as I had that thought it was as if God spoke to me and said, “It’s time.”
So I went searching for an Episcopal church and found this one on the internet that had a Narnia library.
And I knew God was saying “This one.”
I was so nervous about attending Hope for the first time on Easter, I almost chickened out, but instead I walked through those red doors and heard God say, “This is the one.”
Things began moving very, very fast, and I think I might have stumbled and fallen had it not been for how relatively easy God made things for me.
“Say yes,” He said, “to everything that is asked of you.”
Say yes.
Suddenly I went from someone who spent her summers sitting inside reading and counting the hours until school started back up, to someone who spent virtually every day at church.
I went from someone who never wanted anyone at church to know who she was, to someone who first stood up before the congregation in July to give a “moment in faith.”
I went from someone who rarely cried in public, to someone who couldn’t stop the tears when I knelt before the bishop for confirmation in September.
And now, here I am, 2011 is only days away. I think it’s only human nature to want to predict what our futures hold. It gives some sense (though false) of control. As we all know I couldn’t even predict what my Christmas Eve was going to be like two days before it happened.
And the fact is, I never could have predicted 2010, not ever. It is still so surreal to me sometimes.
All I can do, all any of us can do is be still, be silent and listen to where God is calling us to.
Finding a church didn’t mean that God was suddenly easier to hear. Life still gets in the way. Life threatens to drown out all that God is saying.
Finding a church is about realizing that your voice isn’t the only one calling out to God in the middle of the night. Finding a church is knowing that you are not alone in this world. Finding a church is about finding the eternal chorus of voices who long for God and adding your voice to their song.
There is an old legend that Blues musician Robert Johnson met the devil at the crossroads and sold his soul in exchange for the gift of music.
I visited the crossroads this year but there was no devil there waiting for me.
There was only God and with Him ... Hope.
