Yesterday I attended the ordination of now Deacon Pam at the Cathedral Church of Saint Luke. It was my first time at the cathedral, my first time witnessing an ordination—and I think the one thing I like best about being new to the Episcopal Church is all the “firsts” I get to experience.
The service itself reminded me of home, not any home in the physical sense, but a place of peace, a place of God, a place where it felt like God had His hand on my heart. I felt calm and joyful, protected and loved.
Maybe it was the incense that reminded me of attending Mass at St. Bart’s in upstate New York when I was kid.
Maybe it was the pipe organ and the choir whose voices saturated the air so that it felt like I was breathing in music, liquid, beautiful, music. It enveloped me, held me—I could have listened to them sing Handel all night.
Maybe it was Deacon Susan whose story Bishop Howe related in his sermon. It was Susan who had felt called years ago to search out Mother Theresa in Calcutta. It was there she learned a powerful lesson on what God needs from all of us.
“Did you work today?” Mother Theresa asked Susan.
“Yes.”
“Did you see Jesus today?”
“Yes … in the face of a woman who died in my arms.”
As Bishop Howe explained, Mother Theresa said the world needed workers, not observers, and that, Bishop Howe said, is the call of the deacon.
Maybe it was Pam who made this service so special.
Before the service started I saw Pam and hugged her. She was overflowing with joy. She couldn’t contain herself. Later, during the processional, she was practically skipping, her joy so infectious, it was impossible not to smile with her.
She reminded me of the joy I felt just a few months ago when I was confirmed.
When I was confirmed, I made a commitment to God.
But Pam being ordained, has made an even larger commitment to devote her life to His service.
It is no small thing.
To be called to be a deacon or a priest is no small thing.
To go and answer that call is even more astounding, all the more miraculous, because to be a deacon or a priest requires complete submission to His will.
Think about that for a second. Submission is not something that is hard-wired into us.
It is no small thing.
But there I stood yesterday and watched Pam and six others give their lives over wholly and completely to God. All seven of them are an inspiration to me.
Because I can stand there and feel God’s love and be filled with joy and want more than anything on this earth to serve Him and answer whatever He may be calling me to do.
But in the end, can I do as the song says and say, “Here I am, Lord. I will go, Lord … if you lead me?”
To say that and truly mean it requires, I think, a willingness to let God work a miracle in your life.
It requires you to say “yes” to the most important question you will ever be asked.
Pam said yes.
Six others, yesterday, said yes.
And there was a time during the service, when the music swelled and tears filled my eyes that I believed with my whole heart that there was nothing in this world that I wouldn’t give to God. I would say yes to anything … anything He asked me to do.
I wish that it were that easy. But the music isn’t always playing and the chorus isn’t always singing. When everything is quiet and still … when I’m alone with God … will I still be able to say yes?
Yes.
